The perfect guy in the end or not?

Do we ever get the guy of our dreams or not? If we wait long enough and are patient enough? Or do we just seattle for what is ok and deal with the rest later? I think its a combination of both! I seattled for what i had at the time and now im going to wait for what i truly want.....but are my views on my perfect man out of reach? are my expectations to high? i think they are a little......and my expectations for myself are way to low.....i am not the perfect person.....

its sad i dont need you anymore, but im so much happier now

i was just thinking the other day how happy i am now i mean i was happy when i was married i think then if you truly think about it most of us try to mold ourselves so that person our partner will like us more, but the truth of the matter is that after i had my daughter i lost who i was and now slowly after a couple of years i am finally finding myself again...what i like and dont like especially in a guy! i have found things i have missed about myself, but also realized how much i have changed as a person having a kid. I am a introvert now instead of a extrovert.....im afraid to meet new people........is this something most people experience after having a baby? and do we as mothers use our children to shield us for meeting new people? like usually i am fine if my daughter  is with me....but if im alone in public meeting new people i freak out......why does this happen? and will i ever grow out of it? I have so much to say but i am so shy i shut up and dont speak but my mind is saying so much. Another thing ive realized i will step out of the way and do something that may make me sad so a friend can be happy......why? maybe this is who i am and i am happy when everyone else is happy and im miserable...i honestly think that one is from years of habit....so much easier to blame yourself if someone is angry for no reason! and why do bdays suck when you get older? hrmmm???? no one seems to want to do anything with you or even bake you a cake...why do we lose sense? its sad :(

Ah the birthday the wont happen again

So this month is my birthday ......all i want for my bday is a nice guy i know what i want in him and even his looks i guess....a nice guy who wants to stay in the miilitary forever....a lifer...a e5 or above or even a officer.......someone who is taller than me but not super skinny clean cut shaves everyday.....tattoos arnt even a requirment...doesnt play video games and like being with his family......whos family is super nice and excepting.....but i dont think they are real ha ha ha so i will never find mr.right.....oh well right? oh to wait how much my bday is a bust....gnight!